Has someone ever told you that you have a problem with anger?  Ever wonder what you can do about this problem?  Well, the first step toward dealing with anger is beginning to recognize anger when it comes up.  First and foremost, it is imperative to become aware of what kinds of situations arouse or trigger anger in yourself.  Louis Pasteur once said that “chance favors the prepared mind” and this saying is certainly applicable to most situations including the frustrating variety.  If you realize ahead of time when you might be likely to get angry, say around a certain person or behind the wheel, you can begin to strategize about what coping tool might be most useful before the anger arises.  To give an analogy, if you went for a walk, there is a good chance that you may become thirsty.  If you remember ahead of time that walks are thirst inducing, you could potentially bring water or money to buy a drink at a nearby store.  If you lacked forethought, you would be more likely to suffer through the walk with the discomfort of a dry mouth.

All right you have figured out what situations make you angry, so now there is a different question of recognition.  Recognizing when you are actually angry is also important.  I know what you are thinking, “this sounds like a ‘no-brainer’,” but it is not.  Many people only realize that they are angry once they have acted out in a given situation such as saying something mean or yelling at a loved one or cutting some one off in traffic; and for some people recognition does not even happen then.

Indicators of anger can be of several different kinds.  Generally the most easily recognizable of these are physical in nature such as muscle tension, clenching of fists or jaw, heart racing, or feeling flushed, but it may also be possible to recognize mental indicators of anger such as racing thoughts or vengeful fantasizing.  Whichever is easier for you to become aware of, let it be a reminder for you to pause for a moment and employ your most favorite calming technique.  And remember that at first you will not ALWAYS be able to respond in this newly enlightened way, but if you are able to recognize your anger, stop, and respond appropriately EVEN ONCE in a situation that always made you angry- That is still progress.  In Wellness- David

« »